Ruth Powell Consulting
Parenting and Child Care Consultant
"The most precious gift we can offer others is our presence. When mindfulness embraces those we love they will bloom like flowers" - Thich Nhat Hanh
"The most precious gift we can offer others is our presence.
When mindfulness embraces those we love
they will bloom like flowers" - Thich Nhat Hanh
Choosing Child Care
Parent's Embrace Consulting
A service aimed at parents of children 0-8 years of age.
"Parent's Embrace" refers to embracing the parenting experience
Ruth is passionate about parenting and empowering parents with effective behavioural guidance strategies. Ruth believes in 'consciously' parenting through working with the child's natural spirituality and eagerness to capture their parent's attention. Ruth helps parents to establish a holistic approach through:
Ruth draws on her many years experience working with children and her own journey as a parent.
"Parents Embrace" is an affordable face to face or telephone and email consulting service for individual parents and groups (including workshops) .
Ruth offers a non judgemental practical advice that covers a wide range of everyday worries and ongoing behavioural problems that parents are often faced with. Ruth offers parents clear effective strategies whilst encourages parents to truly enjoy their parenting journey.
Parents can often find that a behaviour just continues, one strategy may of worked for a while but then the behaviour escalates or it never really stops and the child is just constantly being reprimanded. Ruth will help you move on from that behaviour - this is a relief for not only parents but the child as well.
"This book has made me feel a lot more comfortable with using child care for my son" - Alana, Qld
Ruth Powell has written this book for all parents who already have their children in child care or are thinking about using a centre or programme.
Choosing Child Care is an enjoyable, easy read as it draws on many real life experiences and aims to leave the reader feeling more in touch with their childs day. It's the ultimate guide - find out everything you need to know about finding and using a child care centre in Australia.
Learn More
Ruth on Mumzone
Ruth is on the Mumzone parenting website as the resident child behavioural and child care expert. Ask a question or view previous questions
Learn More......
About Ruth
In 2009, Ruth moved permanently back to Perth after many years moving around Australia (and the United States) with her husband's work. She has a son and daughter aged eight and five and Australia's best travelled 13 year old red heeler, who is as happy as she is to now be staying put!
Ruth is the author of Choosing Child Care and has worked and studied for over twenty years in the early child hood field. She feels more passionate than ever about the care of young children with a particular interest in behavioural guidance and choosing the right Child Care for children.
Her formal qualifications and previous work experience includes:
Services
In Home or Phone Consultation
Workshops
Ruth can help Parents with.....
Mothers Groups, Playgroups, Community Groups
These sessions are facilitated as one-hour workshops, all tailored to the age range of the children and particular subject of choice of the group.
Prior to the workshop, Ruth will contact you to discuss possible topics and to obtain some background information. Ruth will then facilitate the workshop at your venue / home
Cost: $10per person (min. 7 people)
Choosing Child Care - 1/2 hour talk
Including time for questions FREE to community organisations, mother's groups.
Limited spaces - email Ruth with your details and two possible date options that would suit you.
For Child Care Centres
Have Ruth attend your next staff meeting as a guest speaker on her journey through
Current workshop:
"Promoting a calm environment for children"
Ruth explores the various techniques that support a calm environment for not only the children but for staff as well
Cost: $145 for 45 minutes presentation (+ discussion time) includes the Choosing Child Care Book for Centre.
In Home Consult
In home consultation in Perth, Western Australia (Metro area Rockingham to Joondalup)
Ruth will initially contact you via phone and then come to your home to for a tailor made consult to suit the needs of your family. Ruth will follow up by sending you a summary of the visit:
Cost: $150 (Two Hours visit plus initial phone consult)
Follow Up Visits: $60 per hour
Phone Consult from $20
Don't live in Perth...or even Australia? Ruth can conduct a phone consult and follow up. Ruth will send (via your email address) an initial questionnaire that will familiarise Ruth with your family allowing for a more productive hour on the phone. Ruth will then follow up with an email.
Initial consultation: $60 for 1 hour
Existing clients: $45 for 1 hour
Quick Consult
Have you got a question or behavioural challenge with your child? Email Ruth with your question and she will ring you with suggestions. She will then send you an email with point form summary of suggestions.
Cost: $20 for 15 minutes phone consult
Ruth can provide workshops or individaul guidance in the following subject areas:
Choosing Child Care by Ruth Powell
Choosing Child Care is written from the perspective of using child care yet Ruth has had feedback from parents that it has also been a great resource when looking at other forms of Care and programmes.
A nuturing, safe environment is what all parents want, and should expect when entrusting the safety and well being of their child to a centre / programme.
If you are looking for a centre of care outside of the home, Ruth's aim for the book is to leave you feeling confident and reassured about choosing the perfect centre / programme.
If you are already happily using care Ruth's aim is for you to gain a deeper understanding / sense of the importance of the parents role / rights regarding quality care practices in a group care setting of young children.
The book :
1. Order Book Securely - $20.00
(incl. delivery within Australia)
Buy Now
2. For Community Organisations/
Child Care Centres - $35.00 for two
Ruth's Parenting Articles as seen on Mumzone
Routines, Rules and Rituals for Children
Teaching Children Spirituality
Sally Spiders, Princess Ants, Honey Bees and Geckos
The Plane Trip
Contact Ruth for Further Information and Bookings or Choosing Child Care queries:
Please feel free to contact me should you have any questions at all.
Regards,
Ruth Powell
ph: (08) 9243 3765
(10AM to 5PM WA time zone Mon - Sat)
NEWSLETTER CURRENTLY UNDER CONSTRUCTION - PLEASE CHECK BACK SOON.
Ruth's Parenting Articles - Teaching Children Spirituality
Return to Ruth's Articles
How do we Teach Children About Spirituality?
I am a Perth Mum with a son six and daughter three. I am currently residing in Hawaii (my husband is on exchange with the US Navy). Around 18 months ago I had a question that I was unable to find a direct answer to: "How do we teach the children about spirituality?" I asked my husband... and then announced that "I need a book on it"... if only I could find one written specifically about this subject. I knew that we could have started attending church - that would have been a start, but this would not have completely answered my question. I wanted to incorporate this 'learning' into the children's everyday lives. I want them to grow up having a real sense and confidence within themselves - believing in a higher power, whether that is God or their spiritual self (what ever spirituality may eventually mean for them).
Whilst I let that question 'sit out there' (as the answer seemed no clearer) I decided that I would begin with getting more in touch with my own spiritual side so the meditating that I did off and on for years was now going to be a regular occurrence. I also started reading books on meditating as there was certainly no problem finding books on this subject. So with the question still posed and my own spiritual endeavors now at least being more consistent, the answer I was looking for did start to unfold in unexpected ways - which I find is usually the case. This is my journey to my very clear answer.
Unbeknownst to me, the answer started to unfold when I was considering options for placing my daughter into a programme that would be similar to a 4 year old programme in Australia. My son's school had one with a great reputation - but they had just changed it from a 3 to 5 mornings a week and she (or perhaps I) wasn't ready for her to attend this many days. Friends then told me about a Child Care that offered ½ day care, but every time I went to investigate this further it just didn't feel right. I couldn't quite get passed the fact that Child Care is not monitored in the same way as in Australia. Finally I discovered the Waldorf school was just around the corner from us, they had a three to four year old programme that was for a total of 9 hours per week, perfect! I had always been interested in the Steiner / Waldorf education so after further investigation this is where she was booked to start at the beginning of the new school year.
Upon starting you can't help but feel the calm, flowing energy of a Waldorf class room, with the high ceilings adorned with wood, arches (to allow for the flow of energy - of course), natural toys and softly spoken words and songs; it is quit engaging. I watched as my child freely engaged in watering the garden, making mud pies in the sandpit with the always available water, and running over to feed the birds. Thus this started the fascination with dirt and water that over flowed to home and any patch of dirt she could find when we were out. So the 'exploring clothes' where introduced to counter our red volcanic dirt on the 'mountain' in our backyard - and lots of Napisan was kept in the laundry for the (losing) battle of keeping her normal clothes stain free...hmm, the exploring pile kept getting larger. The mountain (large hill in our back yard - at the bottom of a real mountain) was officially re-opened (after being closed down when my little explorers forgot the rules, a large rock rolled off 'the mountain', sprinkler system was broken, a flood ensued along with a large bill... but that's another story!) I have never minded messy play... and this "extra messy play" eventually passes... (right? As the Americans would say), but I am writing this as my daughter is sitting in the kitchen mixing a concoction of flour and water together.
I started to find that I started watching more closely as they completely lost themselves in exploring, digging in the dirt, looking for bugs, treasures, and of course... dinosaur bones! I watched as my daughter sat for an hour making the biggest, messiest mud pie that then became body paint. I suddenly was a lot more aware of the rhythm of their play and more mindful not to interrupt it - as I usually would have done with praise or a question. They obviously did not seek or need it at these times. They were in their own world, often oblivious that I was standing there watching - or taking photos.
I realised that my children naturally have exactly what I can often struggle to achieve whilst meditating. They are in the moment completely - they are not thinking about yesterday, tomorrow or a hour from now they are just immersed in every second of their play. So as I watched (and learned), I started becoming more conscious of really being in the moment with them when they were showing or telling me something. During the day I am now (for myself) trying to stay 'in the day'. I am not nearly as efficient at it as they are and have come to realise how difficult this is for adults. There is this constant stream of dialogue through my head to deal with! But awareness is a big leap so one day at a time for me!
Seeing how connected my children were when out in nature I then took the step of reading as many books as I could as suddenly I found many more books on spiritual parenting. The next step for me was clearing out / organising toys. We now have a section of the family room organised (so each item has a home) with natural wooden blocks, knitted animals, a large dressing up box to follow my daughter's new phase of being a princess or fairy, a nature table for all the rocks/ leaves/ flowers and pieces of wood that are bought home after a walk up the street or anywhere we go for that matter. There are kitchen materials for any tea parties that there favourite bears, teddies and dolls may like to come to, with the cooking being done on the stove my son made out of a box. The 'bug palace' sits in the family room and waits for it's next guest that may like to visit for a day before it is thanked and put back in the garden.
So the search to the answer was finally found (it took me a while to click...lucky for the patience of children!). "How do you teach spirituality to your children?"- I now laugh that I asked myself this as of course you just don't. Children are already naturally very connected to their spirituality - I should have been asking "How can I learn about spirituality from my children!" I have discovered that if we stop and observe and give children opportunities to explore, discover, experiment, get wet and muddy and follow their instincts - then we as parents can learn so much about being connected to spirituality - how ironic!!
My son summed it all up beautifully the other day. The children got up before me the other morning - I literally woke up to hearing the excitement in my sons voice at what he had seen downstairs - next I hear him bolt up stairs, race into our room (it was still dark) As he was saying "Mum, Mum you have to see this (he reached out to put on the bedside light... he never does this... he knows I am not a 'bolt out of bed' person) so I knew there was important news coming... and so it was "Mum, Mum - I can see the moon, it's amazing..." - I get up and it was as he said an amazing sight looking through this small, high window and seeing the moon framed perfectly. It was a crescent moon - as I was later informed after some research through the "Space Book". After this, my son had a student free day so we headed to the zoo and the children (before looking at any animals) headed straight to a huge Indian Banyan tree. We have been to the zoo many times in the last twelve months yet we only found the tree (that is a little hard to miss) a few weeks ago. We then sat on the grass for morning tea, a bird came up and started taking some food from our hand, my son looked over at me and said "Isn't this special" and I replied "Yes, it is very special."
Books I read on my research in 'teaching myself' about nurturing children's spiritually included:
10 Principles for Spiritual Parenting Nurturing Your Child's Soul
By: Mimi Doe with Marsha Walch, PH.D
Busy But balanced, Practical and Inspirational Ways to Create a Calmer, Closer Family
By: Mimi Doe
You Are Your Child's First Teacher. What Parents Can Do With and For Their Children From Birth to Age Six
By: Baldwin Dancy
Heaven on Earth. A Handbook for Parents of Young Children
By Sharifa Oppenhiemer
Aloha,
Ruth's Parenting Articles - Sally Spiders, Princess Ants, Honey Bees and Geckos
The other week I dropped both my children at school and upon returning home saw that my son had left the back door wide open (again). As I turn around I see a flutter of wings and realise we have a rather nice sized bird in our house. As I am about to deal with this, a gust of wind comes through and knocks a container off the children's table and a large grass hopper jumps out. Why am I not surprised? Let's face it, it could have been worse - it was only the week before that my son came in with a container of water with mosquito larvae in it, and this wasn't the first time we had watched mosquitoes grow and fly away. So I firmly said, "Outside with them", only to be told so enthusiastically that these ones will take "AGES" to fully grow as they are only toddlers and the last ones were teenagers. "I promise Mum", he said. The whole story really began however a few years earlier when...
Prior to having children, our neighbour told us that he had actually heard me scream from inside his house when I saw the largest Wolf spider I have ever seen in sitting outside our bedroom door. So after having my first child, I became more aware of my own fears regarding certain insects and the need/want not to pass this fear on to my children. My mother tells us of how my Dad would hide behind her if they came across a large spider, so that's where I got it... thanks Dad. I also cannot forget the stories you hear of children burning bugs with the magnifying glass or pulling wings off. This didn't appeal so when my son came along I had a plan. I spoke lovingly of all the little creatures that wanted to visit us and I enforced they had to live in the garden. Soon my son was helping Dad to catch and move any large beasts outside with a gentle reminder from me to take them far, far away. So far so good. Jump forward a few years and.
Upon arriving in Hawaii nearly 22 months ago to live with my husband and two children, four and seven, I noticed that people not only thought of Australia as 'the Outback' (not helped by a chain restaurant being called this) with kangaroos and koalas on every corner but more importantly as the place renowned for the large number of deadly beasts, namely snakes and spiders (the Americans have way too many documentary channels). Snakes and dangerous/large spiders are non existent in Hawaii. So I began to realise that I had swapped the snakes and scary spiders, namely the Huntsman AKA "Sally Spider" ( an attempt on my part years ago to make them seem less intimidating) for large snails, lots of ants, an abundance of geckos and the dreaded occasional large centipede (which I think could rival the Sally Spider). Overall I was happy with the swap and overjoyed that I would not see a Sally spider for the next two years until one day 10 months later when
The children both run upstairs in the early hours of the morning to wake me with, "Mum there is a huge spider downstairs". I said I would get up and look in a minute and lay there contently thinking to myself - we don't get big spiders in Hawaii! Besides it was only a couple of nights ago a group of Australians were also talking and confirming this very fact. Yet two minutes later they bolt upstairs again. "No mum, really, it's HUGE". "How huge?" My sons arms opened up...hmmmm, anything that big I am sure would have eaten them by now, but perhaps I had better look. Sure enough there it was, what I could only describe as a 'Sally Spider'... how could this be? so with my usual calm demeanor around bugs, slugs and creepy crawlies going completely out the window I had no choice (in my opinion anyway) but to empty the usually never used fly spray can on it and bravely convince my son to vacuum it up for me as I hid behind him (my mother would have been ashamed and my dad sympathetic).
After 'Googling' we learnt the spider in our house was a 'Cane Spider' and, from the reaction of the people on the web site in Hawaii, it is the scariest, most horrifying thing ever (great!! all Americans have just reinforced my phobia) but it doesn't appear to be often sighted (phew!). It happens we have only seen one other since (outside). Little did the BIG spider know that all it had to do was quickly go to the highest point of our ceiling, where we would have had no chance at catching or spraying it and call down, "Pack your bags Powell family, I want you out." I am glad to report, however, that despite having a temporary affect on my daughter's reaction to spiders, they are both still obsessed and loving towards insects and have very little fear of anything. I also redeemed myself a little by having a very small pet spider "Dasher" we allow to reside in our house. It wasn't long before I began to wonder if I had gone too far in the whole "Love thy insect theory"...
So, the ants went marching hundreds by hundreds through my house. If I even looked like I was going to kill or vacuum these 'guests' I was quickly reminded about caring for all living things. Bugger. This makes dealing with a very large family of ants very hard, particularly with my daughter referring to them all as "Princess ants" who had come to visit her (they did eventually leave with some quiet persuading from me). When they left, in their place came the giants of the ant world, local bull ants. Think of the cartoon movie 'Ants' and that's them. Thankfully they travel in smaller family groups but like to congregate and travel along the edge of the ceiling. So enough was enough one morning when I got up only to find another few family groups I went and got that vacuum out, turned it on and grabbed a chair only to be stopped in mid endeavour with "No mummy they are the friends of the Princess Ants!" . Of course they are, I knew that! With this I backed away from the vacuum cleaner and chair, until after school drop off.
Let's not forget the Honey Bees and Geckos. The other day the children excitedly took me outside to see a true Queen Bee (meaning the largest I have ever seen). And the occasional large black blobs that fly past quickly are Carpenter bees my son informed me and they are amazing. My son walked past one the other day in the city (bug catcher in hand) and said to me, "I want to catch one of those Mum, I'm not kidding!" Oh, I know he's not kidding. I was there the few times he proudly came in and showed me the dozen 'honey bees' buzzing around in his bug catcher. More and more I am seeing the resemblances of the 'star' insects of the Disney movies. Speaking of movies, can someone please fire that large Gecko that has also taken up residence in our home. I eagerly watched the other night when one or two of our resident large ants walked by it. "Hang on there", I thought as the third ant was heading straight for its mouth. Resident Gecko snaps at it, but it hits his nose instead and falls to the ground and runs off (under my foot... oops!). "What was that???" I sigh out loud but it's OK, here comes another one and... success!!! The resident Gecko then walks away as I say out loud "You can't be full??", yet despite having more opportunities walking his way, he wanders off. So with that I too wander off leaving the remainder of the ants at the mercy of the resident Geckohuh!
After some pondering I realise that for some one not that keen on creepy crawlies - and thinking that I was getting a two year reprieve living in Hawaii, I am now the host to many bugs, slugs and reptile residents. However, I do feel a little more comfortable in light of my children's enthusiasm and happy that I don't have to deal with dismantled, tortured bugs. So on that note I will now go and check if the Gecko eggs we found at the park the other day have hatched and say goodnight to the many beetles roaming around in the bug catcher. I know that you know I'm not kidding!
Ruth's Parenting Articles - The Plane Trip
You realise how hard you work as a mother when you enjoy a 17 hour plane trip.
I am a Perth Mum of two young children, Miss three and Mr six. Our family currently lives in Hawaii, my husband is in the Australian Defense (sorry Defence.the US is already rubbing off). I do some part time work from home and a couple of weeks ago I went back to WA for work - BY MYSELF...NO CHILDREN. I have never been away from them before, but knowing my husband was 'taking holidays' to be with them (and was excited about) I knew they would cope well.
The morning I depart...a little hectic but 10 days just having to take care of me! I am feeling good. Get to the airport...Mr six starts to get upset...hmm I am still OK so wave goodbye delighted I am on the other side of this good bye for a change (husband...defence). I walk through the security and there it finally is the panicky thoughts, sudden shortness of breath, want to run back and hug them again...too late...I keep walking...collect my hand luggage and my thoughts again...pull yourself together Ruth... 10 Days alone...for the fist time in 6 years...OK feel good again... What do I need from child...sorry duty free shopping.
Board the plane. I get an aisle seat, middle row with no one behind me. Wow, what a feeling. Unpack my newly purchased sound eliminating headphones (why hadn't I thought of these before) get my book out (1st novel I have read in years) and just sit, smirk on face. Two middle aged ladies bustle in next to me, complaining about the prospect of the ten hour flight to Sydney and this small seat. Nothing can change my mood however, as I sit there smiling enjoying so many Australian 'accents' around me knowing that all I have to do for the next 17 hours as I make my way to Perth is, read, watch TV, listen to music, be served a few meals, coffee, chocolate and then when things can't get any better - a glass of wine. I close my eyes and think to myself that I must be the happiest, most relaxed person on the plane, as the lady next to says "I need a smoke".
Ruth's Parenting Articles - Routines Rules and Rituals
Routine, Rules and Rituals...
The three "R's"! Routine, Rules and Rituals... I am sitting here thinking that each one of these "R's" could be a whole article unto itself - yet they compliment each other so well that I think they all deserve to stay! I will break them down separately to demonstrate how well they all support each other.
Routines
What would we do without some sort of routine with children - we all think we don't get enough sleep now! Can you imagine if children had no bedtime routine?! ...no neither can I. Routines give children a sense of security and control over their environment, and for want of a better word, belonging. Our sitter has told us on a few occasions how the children will often say "Mummy does it like this" or "This is how we do it". The familiarity of a routine acts as an anchor for children. When I worked in child care a lack of structure or routine in a room would result in upset children and an increase in behaviour problems.
Our typical morning and afternoon routine include a seven and four year old and:
6:30 Wake up (this wasn't my idea) Get dressed/breakfast/finish any homework/play
7:30 Leave for school (this wasn't my idea either - who thought of an 8am school start!)
8:00 Wait for school bell with seven year old son and then go home so I can have breakfast.
2:30 Pick up from school
3:00 Afternoon tea/play
5:30 Dinner and then bath
6:00 Quiet time (Children either watch TV or do quiet activity). Parents have a well earned glass of wine!
6:45 Story and glass of milk/snack
7:00 Children to bed
Routines do however need to have some flexibility. I have known of parents who would never consider going out in the middle of the day (or to dinner with children) as it is sleep time. Sometimes it is ok to take the routine with you (such as children sleeping in prams) or to throw it out the window on occasion - you don't want to feel you are a complete slave to the routine rather that the routine is an anchor that can be pulled up and moved sometimes or changed to meet the changing needs of the family. Each child and family is different - my son at seven still thrives with a very set routine and notices if there is any shift in it - he protested a couple of months ago at the introduction of a different story time routine.
You will know when you have a great routine happening as you will receive validations from your children - they may start to initiate the routines and/or happily participate in a routine that may have once been unsettling. We missed quiet time the other night and my son was disappointed - "I really like quiet time". When we changed our routine to introduce a quiet time followed by a more structured story time with milk, bread and honey (I read this snack is great with helping children sleep soundly) our transition to bed was a lot smoother, and the constant requests after dinner for snack after snack stopped. There are no right or wrong routines - if there is a time of day in your family that is unsettled then it may be that it is time to change (or add) a routine like we did with the quiet time routine. We had friends over for dinner recently and a conversation started about what their children eat for dessert and she asked my son what he has. He said "bread and honey". My girlfriend just looked at me and laughed saying "Oh... Ruth, your poor children" but what ever works in your family is worth sticking to!
Rules
Children like clear boundaries/rules. I know this might not seem the case when they are pushing them but if rules are consistent and calmly enforced, they can have the same positive effect on children as the routine.
Some key factors for implementing rules include:
Ensuring they are developmentally appropriate. For example, expecting a 1 year old to share their toys is not always going to work! They are not developmentally there yet - they are still in the "everything belongs to me stage!" - that's ok!
Being consistent.
Keep in mind (particularly with young children) that it is normal for children to need reminders.
If rules are broken give a warning and then follow through with the given consequence.
Remain calm - in other words (although I know this can be hard!) if your child begins to have a melt down resist the urge to have one with them.
Role model appropriate behaviour.
Don't over rule - meaning - if it doesn't need a rule don't give it one. My daughter loves water, I have found her a few times sitting in the sink having a bath - due to safety factors, I had to have a rule (that I might add was broken on a couple of occasions) that there was no more climbing into the sink. However I let her know that it was fine to pull up her step and bath her dolls or play with the water. So hence we have had a few changed clothes and towel mop ups but this is important work to a four year old! So I didn't want a 'no playing in the sink rule' to put a stop to this extremely messy... sorry creative work.
Children need to be taught appropriate behaviour.
Review challenging behaviour - firstly from the perspective of how the Routine, Rules or even Rituals may contribute to it. My son went through a stage of being so grumpy (and rude) when I picked him up from school. It turned out he just needed to go home and relax most days after school - so that is what we do now and this had made a difference - he never even asks to go for 'cake and coffee' once a week which he used to love.
Praise positive behaviour and pay as little attention as possible to unwanted behaviour.
As we live at the top of a quiet cul de sac my children play out the front with the neighbours. At 5:30 when it is our "inside time" the other children in the street are often out playing a lot longer. My son noticed this and felt a little ripped off (as I guess you would at seven). But as coming in at 5:30 is a "family rule" - it just cannot be broken. We pick carefully our "family rules" as this word is a little like magic - suddenly it is not you saying 'no' it is simple in the hands of a higher power "The family rule".
After a couple of protests and a couple of reminders that went something like "I am not asking again, 5:30 is inside time for us, that's our family rule" it was quickly accepted. The other day I called him in (after giving a five more minutes warning) and I could not help but notice how happily (and quickly) he turned to his friends, gave a big wave and said "Bye"!
Interestingly I was talking to a girlfriend the other day (unbeknownst to her I am writing this article) and she commented on how well my children get along with each other, as do her two children and she wondered why it is that siblings sometimes don't get along. We both learned that we did actively guide and teach wanted behaviour and my friend also bought up that she will say to her children "the Eddingtons don't...". I thought this was interesting as it is much the same as our family saying of "In our family...". Of course there are many factors that contribute to siblings getting along but this concept does seem to have some 'magic' attached to it! Particularly when coupled with the three "R's". Just don't overuse it or it will lose some power!
Family Rituals
I love family rituals. I hope that one day my children will remember fondly the rituals that we do. Similar to the benefits of routines and rules, rituals give a sense of belonging and familiarity. Family rituals can really be anything your family wants it to be and they often do just become part of the routine.
We have weekly rituals such as each Monday we make scones together for afternoon tea. Wednesday night we make pizza and the children are allowed to eat it on the lounge during 'quiet time' - they loved this so much when we did it, that it just naturally became our Wednesday night routine/ritual. On Sunday mornings my husband makes pancakes and the children proudly bring me mine in bed. These weekly rituals give the children a sense of order - the other day my son reminded me (when I was half asleep and lost track of days) that on Saturday mornings that they were allowed to watch some TV and Sundays mornings were Pancake Day.
Yearly rituals include events such as birthdays. Our children have a few friends over, they pick the theme of the party/cake and help to make a list of food. For our birthdays the children help to prepare and throw a small family party. This year we also had a 'Spring morning tea' and invited Grandma around and a couple of other adult friends who were asked to wear 'Spring' clothes. For Valentine days we cut out love hearts for each other and I made a special dinner - my husband and I have never celebrated it in the past so we have decided just to make it a family affair that does not involve purchased gifts. Family rituals are really about the family doing fun things together.
Routines, Rules and Rituals support both the parents and the growing needs of children. A structured home/family environment that is also able to be flexibly is extremely grounding for not only children but the family as a whole. Children are growing and learning at such a rapid rate that a strong foundation that remains familiar and supporting allows children balance and importantly repetition.
©2010 Choosing Child Care
